Depression wrapped its ugly little fingers around me once again yesterday.
It was triggered once I started watching TV which got me addicted and I watched Teen Wolf for the whole day. The inner voice inside me was yelling at me “you could have spent that time on something useful.”
But the real reason I was getting depressed over was actually different. Me not having friends and my inability to keep up conversations always bugged me. I was shy. Me not knowing the right thing to say made me lose my confidence.
Constantly worrying about the future not having friends affected my way of communication. I was putting myself out there trying to make conversations just so that I wouldn’t be alone in the future.
Next day (today) my mom asked me to help with her work so I went today to her office. I helped her by rearranging books from different shelves which were jumbled. I had to chronologically arrange them. It was a very good distraction from all the overthinking I was going through. Helping her made me reboot my brain in a way.
So when I was free I was thinking “I should try searching for the answer”. I read many articles online until I hit the right one.
Now writing this post I am happy to say that really happy. 😀 It gave me hope. It made me realize that The Change to a better person is a choice I get to make.
I came up with these simple rules to avoid all of these chaos. The competency to thrive these simple rules will help immensely in a person’s social life.
Rule no 1 – Charisma is not congenital. No one is born with it. It is a habit developed overtime.
Rule no 2 – If you want another person to like you, all you got to do is make that person feel good about himself. It’s not about making yourself attractive to others. Be positive, shut your ego and give your full attention!
Rule no 3 – Be confident. It is not so easy at sometimes. But with time you can build it. Work out regularly. Dress sharply. Learn new things. You have to be comfortable in your own skin. In other words, be comfortable being alone.
Rule no 4 – Never be arrogant. Or overconfident. No one likes a boastful person. And it deflects on rule no 2. Be humble and respectful.
Looking back throughout my years of life, I know now that the whole reason for me to have distant friends instead of close friends is that I was always talking about myself instead of listening to others and not making them feel good about themselves.
But everything is going to be OK. Because it’s up to me to make the change. And I will!
P.S. This actually confirms with a small story of my life. I try to PM a lot of people but all I end up with small talk and eventually we say good byes and the conversation is over. But the other day I was talking to my friend who lived in India. I just asked about the sceneries in the city she lived in. She explained it with enthusiasm and even I showed my enthusiasm. I was highly appreciating the beauty of the nature in the place she lived in.
Suddenly the conversations I had with her changed. She started texting me often. And it was not small talk. It was not me interviewing another person. It was an actual conversation!